Well it will soon be a year that Mikey left us. I have said many things but I truly believe not only has the world moved on but we have lessons to learn. I still am finding my way in this world without Mikey, like so many of us. There are so many things we all wish we could of told, shown Mikey. He knows!!! I have to believe that.
So much has gone on in the past month, my birthday only the second time since Mikey was born we weren’t together, I did some of the same things like the fair, a couple of gatherings, which I have to say I didn’t like. I know everyone is worried about this 1st time after Mikeys death but I’m more worried about 10 even 20 years from now.
It’s like 1st Ave even though I have gone for other things I don’t like it any more. Like music which I use to love and I mean love, music like so many of us helped has got us through tough times, happy times, new loves, old ones and many other emotions. But for me it’s not a connection anymore. Sometime I think there is not enough liquor or drugs in the world for us to move on. Yet I understand the pain, joy, trouble, and love Mikey gave all of us.
The thing is are we really going to take the lessons, thoughts, words, eyedea’s, love, and tolerance he left us. I sure am trying. I am trying to figure out what my lesson is. I know that by the time it’s my time I will know but some how I wish it would come sooner than later. I have said somethings that a lot of people don’t understand but know that I will try with all I have that Mikey will still continue. He had more to say in his short time than most of us in our long time.
My anxiety as we get closer to the anniversary of his death is more than I had when he was born. We, I, made it through then I sure as hell have to make it now. Oh for those who don’t know his birth was well to put it mildly was HELL. I use to say to him and others we have to be careful he could be the second coming. Then we are all in trouble (Remember Mikey).
So I hope this doesn’t make you sad, just the ramblings of now an older lady but with optimism, sorrow, sunshine, rain and pain.
Mikey we had, have so much more to learn I wish you were physical here to guide us. Miss and Love you
Mom
Wow you’re awesome!!!
I just want to let you know how much michael’s music has helped me through the past year, i was really just kind of lost in life, was fucking around with different drugs, and just basically being depressed and self destructive. When i first heard songs off first born i was overwhelmed with amazement. It was almost as if he knew exactly what i was going through, explained it to me, and then helped me through it. His music was direct therapy to me, i have over 30 plays on almost every song on first born & alot from the other two albums as well. The amount of impact your son has had on my life personally, is practically unexplainable. even though he may have only lived to be 28, mentally he was wiser then any old man.
i literally could not have written it better myself. so beautiful and so parallel with how i feel. thank you so much for sharing.
-ashley
Sad? Yeah, sometimes. But mostly grateful. You have brought us closer to Mike by sharing his stories and keeping his spirit alive in our hearts and minds. Thank you, Kathy!
-Sam
well he did say himself in order to live forever all you have to do is sing. and that is what he did so he never really died.
Kathy, you are an incredible person. It’s truly inspiring how much strength you have in the wake of such difficult circumstances. If Mikey is watching, and I’m sure he is, I know he’s proud of you. And his lesson for you will come with the natural reflection one has after losing someone they love…it comes suddenly and its puzzling, at first, but it teaches you something important about the person you lost as well as the person you are.
Stay strong and I wish you the best
i love you Kathy.
i love you Kathy
mike aka eyedea is one of the most influential people I have ever herd. He looked at the world through eyes that some of us will never understand. I am an artist and thats what art is show the world as you precieve it. One day Eyedea came to fargo and I spit almost all of his lyrics. I could even keep up with him through most of the now track. After the show he came up to me and said he was really impressed with how much of his lyrics I actually knew. We then went behind the venue and I talked about his music career and where it was going. I told him I understand that he is trying to improve his music and how it must be hard for people to want you to make the same kind of cds. He was a very intelligent person and he will always be missed and never forgotten. Kathy I have nothing but respect for you for raising such and intelligent and influential human being.