kathy 188Well world how’s everyone doing?? Off to a great show tonight Sadistik at 7th St. But for now it’s been a weird couple of weeks. I have found that after spending a few weeks going through Mikey’s things, I’m in a humdrum place.  Not that many of you know but I have PTSD (not from war), and I find it kicks in at the strangest times. Like after I have been stressed about Mikey’s things, a tough decision, over loaded and you would think it would come during those things, but no, mine rears it head after. It’s like if what is going on isn’t tough enough, when you think it’s all done here comes more. I haven’t been able to make some calls, which I should of this week and last, or fix a few things that got done wrong, or get things done to help others so that things aren’t so hard on them. I fine myself sitting in the yard just staring at the world. Not really watching anything. I guess the birds and then I think to myself your going to be that bird lady. Which would be ok but I don’t like pigeons I like cardinals, morning doves, bluebirds, robins, eagles, hawks, and owls. I did do some yard which brings me to my next rant.

I may have said this before but every time it happens it’s like a clap in the face and not in the good way. 1st, yes 1st, now most of your lives we spend doing 1st such as walking, talking, kissing, jobs, homes, bikes, cars you get what I mean. But after you loss someone there are a lot of 1st like the 1st holiday, 1st b-day, 1st vaca, 1st wedding, 1st game, 1st show where theres a doppelganger, and when you think there can’t be another one sure enough one comes poking around the corner. I went to my nephews all star baseball game, they won and I found myself thinking Mikey would of loved to see this. My nephew pitches and did an amazing job. He held the other team 3 whole innings with no hits. He’s only 13. So in the past few weeks I have noticed that on Mikey’s facebook page there have been no pokes. That’s a 1st since he passed. I get it and it’s not a bad thing, it was just a 1st. I have been preping my drive way to seal it and another 1st. The last time Mikey and I did it together. It took less time of course and we had fun doing it. This time took me 2 days and it was ok, but another 1st none the less. Now last year I went to the state fair which was a 1st but that turned out to be a good day and I’m looking forward to going again this year. A big part of that is due to Jeremy, Mijah, Sarah, and Jonny. They and I had a great day, and believe it or not we spent like 14 hours there and the kids were just amazing. So I’m ready to go again.

Well just a little in the life and crime of 1st. Bite your tongue, grind your teeth 1st will turn into 2nd and 3rds and so on. I don’t think they will be easier but at least you know there coming and isn’t knowing half the battle?

Thanks for the love, support, and continuing to pass on Mikey’s thoughts, message, and wisdom.

Love Kathy

This Article Has 10 Comments
  1. Alicia says:

    Hi Kathy I’ve been reading your blog and Facebook page (also the crushkill Instagram page) and I was wondering, I know this is a long shot, but could i somehow possibly purchase some momento of Mikeys? Something similiar to the Wrinkles puppy, or the fluffy candy cane, even an old hankercheif or just a page of his writing would do! My boyfriend is his biggest fan, he has all the eyedea albums and freestyles on CD and a few on viynl I think (first born which is my fav) however not his favourite “the many faces of Oliver Hart” — I believe he may have contacted you about it on Facebook (you probably won’t remember but his name is Luke Micheal) He a always tells me trivia about Mikey and shows me battle raps he’s done. Anyway, to the point, he is the main reason I’m asking. He’s literally your sons biggest fan. The second time I spoke to him I was going through a rough time and he showed me “here for you” which pretty much cultivated our relationship… Since then I’ve had lyrics of it engraved on jewelry as past gifts… It’s traditional to give jewelry for our debutante ball coming up, but I know Luke would literally CRY if I gave him something of your sons… I want to buy some merchandise, and probably will end up purchasing the R. EYE. P shirt, but I just want that little extra something special… Please reply, even if its a simple no! I swear I will do anything for even the tiniest scrimmage of paper that has been touched by Mikey, as it would make me the best girlfriend in the world and this boy has done so much for me – and I can gurantee pictures of Luke with whatever you send… Thanks Kathy, Alicia!

  2. Alicia says:

    Hi again Kathy, since my debutante is right around the corner I’m going to order Luke a R. Eye. P shirt now because I don’t know how long it will take for postage…. If you see this please please please please please PLEASE remember me if you decide to give away any more of your awesome son’s things- I promise to send a photo of him with the object, wearing the T-shirt, with First Born on the record player and a thankyou note!!! Il even send you a snail-mail handwritten thankyou letter if you provide me a postage address… My name is Alicia Tapley and I will promise you my first born child if you can help me bring Luke closer to his idol <3 please contact me via email or just a response on the thread, even just a "no" or il have to keep spamming you!:) hope you're keeping well, alicia xx

  3. Jorge says:

    Love hearing what’s up. Never stop. There are many people who get a lot out of hearing from you.

  4. charlie says:

    dear kathy
    i know i just sound like another obsessed fan,but your son has given me inspiration that no other artist can or probably ever will ,im going to a music production school rite now so that one day i can produce my own album like he did with oliver hart ,again i dont mean to be another fan trying to talk to eyedeas mother but i just need you to know how much i love you for bringing such a genius into this world,although hes not with us anymore he left something behind that has made a big impact in alot of peoples lives and for that he will live forever,im sorry if i got too mooshy i just needed to say this to you

    sincerely charlie <3

    • KathyAverill says:

      Thank you and it’s never too mooshy. It is nice to hear and keep hearing that Mikey was and still is a big part of peoples lives. It gives me hope that the world will be better one day and in part because of him. Love Kathy

      • charlie says:

        thank you for responding ,it means more to me then you might know and not to go on and on but mikey has given me a better outlook on life and helped me trough alot of depression,therefore i try my best to spread his music to others all the time hoping they are also influenced ,again thank you and hang in there cuz you have alot to be proud of 🙂

  5. AneTix says:

    Having an Eyedea binge. Going through all the tribute songs and RSE Radio freestyles. He said “when Mcs listen to me they get inspired to quit” lol on one of his battle-type freestyles and I’m inspired to write by that. Working on a new EP and the Rhymesaydts family is one huge inspiration. My son was in the car listening to it and said “dada, who’s that?” I said “Eyedea, son, perhaps one of the greatest MCs to live”. He’s only 3 1/2 so his response was “wow, dada”, I turned to look at him and he’s dancing in his car seat. Much love and I’ll never stop remembering what Eyedea did for this underground scene. Love from Texas!

    • KathyAverill says:

      Thank you for sharing and continuing to listen. I’m glad you can share this with your son. Spend all the time you can, hug and kiss him often. We never know when it’s the end. But most of all let him know you love him. Love Kathy

  6. Silas says:

    Your son was a poet and a very intelligent person. Congrats.

  7. Maarjo says:

    He was and still is creators best friend.
    His songs have now all mixed after years and since I’m probably going crazy, yet this son of yours miss Averill, still sings to me, sometimes songs I’ve never heard of..

    Maarjo from Estonia.

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