Hi there cyber world. Who’s up, who’s just waking up, and who’s not gone to sleep??? Me I have been up awhile. Believe it or not Sunday’s are still very hard for me. Most times I wake up remembering how I had to go to my folks and tell them Mikey passed. My mom just saying Oh No, my dad say what are you talking about. Me asking them to call my brother and sister. I have to get back to the house and start calling everyone, I had 100’s of people to call. I got very good at it, I
would start by asking where are you? Then depending on what they said I would either say pull the car/van over and stop but if they were not driving I would say sit down. Then I would tell them Mikey died last night. I never left a message other than to call the house before you do anything, it’s important. The hardest one to get a hold of was Nettie, she was hosting a football party and didn’t answer the phone. I left her a message saying don’t go on the internet, keep the kids off it too, don’t watch the news until you talk to me. When she finally call back the first thing she said was why can’t I go on the net? I told her and like everyone she was in shock. I got a lot What, what are you saying from most people. Sometime I would just like to skip Sundays, the day most people rest or get ready for their work week but me I find myself just wanted to run away. I don’t of course. I don’t run away from all the work there is still to be done. Mikey’s things still have to be gone through more, the music has to be listened to and then what do we want to do with it, I still have clothes, nick nacks (from his place and those he left here), the journals, books, movies, equipment, and then there are millions of pictures (I took from home and shows). Now this may sound funny but I’m not ready to let go of or go through some of his stuff. I know I have to but sometime the anxiety gets so high, I’m lucky if I just don’t sit in the corner and flip the TV. Well as the rest of the world is waking up or going to bed depending on what part of the world your in, I should get to work cleaning out the garage so I can once again move things around and find places for all this stuff. As always THANK YOU ALL for the love, support, and well wish. Love Kathy
What to do with Sunday’s
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WE LOVE YOU KATHY!
Thank you. Love Kathy
You ever need help moving things and rearranging stuff doesn’t ever hurt to have some help.
Thanks are you volunteering? Summer is coming and there will be alot. Love Kathy
Kathy,
I can’t imagine what your heart must go through, and each week to have the fact that it is Sunday bring the memories and experiences of that horrible day come flooding back.
Sundays have always felt terrible to me. I dread them. I’m glad when they’re over. I deal with it mostly by forging through and finding things (or trying to) that can hold my attention. I love football season for this reason.
My heart is with you, and I hope for better days ahead… even Sundays.
Kim
Football season is my saving grace too. My friends and I get together watch any game talk, laugh and eat. Love Kathy
We’re with you.
Thank you. Love Kathy
PRAYING THAT GOD CONTINUES TO GIVE U THE STRENGTH TO ENDURE! TAKE CARE KATHY
I hope I’m enduring some days better than others. Love Kathy
I just want to drop a note and say that Eyedea has been an inspiration to me for a long time. To see a guy be so witty while battling and also be one of the most introspective writers is incredible. I gave a presentation a couple weeks ago that I was nervous about, so before the presentation I watched an Eyedea blaze battle and it put me in the right mood to communicate effectively. His sharp charisma is really contagious. I majored in Philosophy while I was in college and I imagine that his songs – such as “on this I stand,” “liquid sovereignty,” and nearly all of the songs off of the Oliver Hart album – was one of the major reasons why I decided to do so. I never knew him personally, but I really miss him. I never got the chance to see him live. Right now I have a picture of him battling on stage as my iPad background because it inspires me to be sharp, witty, clever, and self-confideng. Eyedea, to me, never appeared to be acting like a rapper on stage. He was always just expressing himself, genuinely, through freestyling. Thank you, Eyedea.
-Nick
Thank you. I enjoy hearing when people use him to inspire them. Love Kathy
Mike was a genius and a true poet. He spoke his mind in his music. It wasn’t until he was gone that I was able to experience his music. Mike was an amazing person. He changed my look on the world. I hope the world will see his genius one day. Thank you Eyedea.
I agree and I think the world is finally listening to him. He use to say to me and my mom all the time “I’ll be more famous when I’m dead” Love Kathy
Reading with tears in my Eyez. The times you go through his things may you and you family come across things that make you smile and laugh and joyfully wonder.Take Care Kathy
I do fine things that bring back good, some funny, and sad memories. Love Kathy
I can not even comprehend the depth of your loss Kathy. Michael had such a beautiful spirit, kind heart, endless imagination, and wisdom far beyond his years and even this world. I believe I speak for many people throughout the world (who were touched by him in some way, whether by his music, poetry, or the endless and unconditional love he gave to so many people) that I hope you can find the strength to succeed in your efforts to open up the still healing wound, and give yourself the opportunity to really, truly, learn who your son was, what he felt, what he had to say….before he left that empty space in our atmosphere that could never be filled. When you can find it in yourself to face this challenge wholeheartedly, and with just as much determination as Michael would have had 😉 , my hope is that you will share what you find with us. I feel it would be a devastating loss to the world to never hear, see, or feel what went on in this amazing human being’s mind and soul. Please have strength, we need you. The world loves and supports you woman, you can do this!
Thank you I do try to let people know the many sides of Mikey. As we all have many faces for the different parts of who we are to the world and ourself. It all takes time and I play it day by day. Love Kathy
I just wanted to tell you how much Michael helped me. I love him and you so much. The struggles I grow through don’t compare to your lose; but know thank’s to him I’ll do my best to strive and survive.
Kathy,
I have been a fan of your son’s music for years. I remember listening to his lyrics thinking to myself that he was wise beyond his years. Music music and even shadows have shadows are my favorite songs he made. I felt like he put the words to the feelings I felt.your son was inspiration to me then and now. I will pass your son’s music to my kids because I truly feel he brought good to the world through music. God bless you.
Thank you and thank you for sharing the connection that all humans have. Mikey was very good at making that connection than anyone I know. Love Kathy
Kathy, im sorry for your loss…. I met Micheal in 2000 while djing @ the Saturday in the park concert in Sioux City, IA (my hometown)…… He was one of the most influential people I have ever met, & he had a glow about him when he spoke……. I still cry when I listen to his music sometimes, but I keep in mind how many lives he has changed for the better through his music…… God be with you Kathy
Thank you. I’m glad you met and I hope you share him with those you can. Love Kathy
Hi Kathy,
I know this blog post is three years old but I read something that bothered me and as a Mother also I wanted to correct you on…
It is absolutely in no way weird or funny that you have had a hard time going through his things and letting his possessions go. My daughter is the reason I am still here (along with Mikey’s music) and if I ever lost her I would be an absolute wreck and I could not do the same. I don’t know if I would be able to move a single thing she has laying around.
A lot of people face the same issue when a loved one passes, it’s completely normal and a part of the grieving process. Even though they’re gone it feels like you’re interrupting something, changing things even more drastically than they have already been changed. Somewhere deep down you hope that if you leave things as they are that they won’t change and what happened will just be a bad dream when you wake up tomorrow…
Being able to blog about it shows how strong you are and I applaud you for it. I am far less open and have a lot of difficulty talking about how I feel and things that have happened to me. I know what happened will never hurt any less but I hope with each day that has passed and continues to pass that those days will start to look a little brighter and you will start to be able to breathe easier.
When things rough I like to listen to ‘here for you’, it has helped me in so many ways with what has happened to me in life and my mental health issues.