Vote on Which Guest Feature Should be the 2nd ILLusionists Single!

The ILLusionists are releasing their fifth studio album, Death of a Salesman on June 4th, and we want YOU to choose which guest feature you want to hear as the second single. Voting ends this Friday, May 17th at 12 PM CST (midnight).


While supplies last all orders ship with FREE copy of Sadistik’s Flowers For My Father a signed CD-R of By the Throat Remixed, and Crushkill Recordings stickers!

Check out the first single, “pwnd.”

Catch their CD release show in Eugene, OR with DJ Abilities:
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And the Show Stoppers Tour with Carnage:
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Weekend

IMG_0439Hi there world this weekend is Mother’s Day and I hope you remember all those who have helped you, nurtured you, loved you, where they birthed you or not, they tried. Even if it wasn’t the best you would of liked as I mom I can say I tried, I wish I would of known more, givin you better tools to deal with life, those who used you, protected you more from the bad in people. I am glad I always told you to take the good out of those you meet and leave the bad, we all have both within us. But now I feel I should of told you just to leave those who showed more bad than good. When Mikey was about 5 or 6 he asked my mom to take him shopping for my Mother’s Day present, and what I got were these felt covered flowers which opened up and had a necklace and ring in them. As I took a couple of pictures to put on here I decided to also take a couple pictures of a few of the toys Mikey received every year for his Birthday from birth to 18. They are in a glass cabinet in the living room, with the Mother’s Day gift on top. I will take others pictures and some day put them up too. One funny thing about Mother’s Day is I can’t remember what last year was like. I can tell you almost every year all the way back to when I was a kid, but last year is a blank. The first Mother’s Day after Mikey passed I do remember it was hard, I spent the day with my mom and sister, we went to look and buy flowers. Last year is a blank. I do feel bad that I have not been nicer to my sister in past Mother’s Day, she hasn’t seen her boys since her ex took them, they dropped off the grid and the court was no help getting them back. We have not seen them since they were about 10 and 8 when their dad moved them out of town and kept them hidden. I know it’s hard for her because she has no idea where they are, how they are doing, and if by any chance they are on the social media please call her. The whole family misses you. I want to say THANK YOU all, the Mother’s and Father’s who everyday do the best we can to help shape the next generation. Also THANK YOU to those who don’t have kids and help those around them anyway to be better and improve the next generation. Enjoy the pictures. Thank you for the love you share with me, the support you give me, and keeping Mikey in this world for those up coming generations. Love Kathy

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Posted in Friends and Family, Mikey's Mom | 2 Comments

Records

Photo on 2012-12-24 at 08.47Hi world it’s mid-day Sunday and as I said I would put up the first box of records from Mikey. Again not sure what to do with them all but would like you to see some of the ones he had. So this is the first box of nine that I will let people see. They are in alphabet order of the box. I’m sure some you will know some you will not. Enjoy and THANK YOU ALL for the love and support you continue to give. Love Kathy

Ahmad Jamal trio 1958

America 1971

Antiworlds Andrei Voznesensky

Arlo Guthrie 1978

Arlo Guthrie hobo’s lullabye 1972

Arrested Development  1994

Barry Whites greatest hits 1973

Best of Little Anthony

Billy Cobham’s Glass mengerie 1982

Billy Cobham Spectrum 1973

Bob Dylan Greatest hits

Bob Dylan John Wesley Harding

Bob James Touchdown 1978

Boiled in lead from the ladle to the grave1989

Bootsy 1978

Bread 1972

Charlie Byrd Aquarius

Chick Corea

Chick Corea again and again1983

Chick Corea 1976

Chick Corea 1982

Chick Corea Return to forever 1977

Chopin concert #2

DJ Swamp never ending breakbeats

Deep Purple who do we think we are1970

Del the funk homosapien

Donald Byrd Steel Lady

Earth Wind Fire Gratitude 1975

Eric Quincy Tate 1972

George Winston 1982

Hendrix Band of Gypsys 1969

Herbie Hancock

Herbie Hancock Sextant

Jeff Beck group 1973

Jimi Hendrix Experience

Jimi Hendrix Rainbow Bridge 1971

Jimi Hendrix what’d i say 1965

Jimi Hendrix # 2

Jimi Hendrix

Johnny Cash Jerry lee Lewis Hank Williams

Illogic celestial clock work

John Lennon Double Fantasy 1980

Johnny Cash I walk the line

Kimya Dawson and friends Alphabutt

Led Zeppelin III 1970

Led Zeppelin 1969

Mahalia Jackson

McCoy Tyner Trident

Janis Joplin Pearl

Pink Floyd Dark side of the moon 1973

Ohio Players Honey 1975

Organized Konfusion

Stanley Clarke Journey to love 1975

Santana

Sesame Street 1 1974

Sketches Megan McDonough 1974

Steppenwolf abc collection1976

The Rolling Stone goats head soup 1973

The Wizard of Oz

Time out to think Fr. Gene Jakubek

Weather report heavy weather 1977

Posted in Friends and Family, Mikey's Mom | Tagged , , | 6 Comments

Sun/Moon

561610_452483908135648_938487209_nWhen I went out for my break the past couple of days as I looked at the moon and sun both in the sky. I remembered something Mikey and I use to do, even when he was an adult.  We used to watch the moon, and when both the sun and moon were in the sky we would try to guess when they would be at the same height/latitude/meet. We would say things like: I say they meet in 10 mins., he would say today they wont meet or we say lets time it. We would just sit and move our heads back and forth until we were tiered or laughing or they would meet or had to go inside or get on with the day and couldn’t wait any more. We always tried to catch the moon at each stage and just say hi. He was always happy at watching the moon. The loved weather to watch a storm come in, the changes in the sky, clouds. When he was little and we took long drives and he would tell me all the things he saw in the clouds as we drove along. One time when they (Mikey & Maxx) did a show in Santa Cruz we had a room in the hills and the hot tub was cut into the hill. We sat there for at least an hour just looking at the huge full moon and all the stars. So today I found myself saying well I would say you’ll meet in 20 mins. Then I thought your mom really is crazy or at the very least came up with crazy things for us to do. I wish I could of stayed out to see if I was right but break isn’t that long. Oh well maybe next time. So the next time you see the morning or evening sun and moon sky how long do you think it’ll take to meet or wont they? Thanks for reading and supporting. Love Kathy

Posted in Friends and Family, Mikey's Mom | 9 Comments

What to do with Sunday’s

Hi there cyber world. Who’s up, who’s just waking up, and who’s not gone to sleep??? Me I have been up awhile. Believe it or not Sunday’s are still very hard for me. Most times I wake up remembering how I had to go to my folks and tell them Mikey passed. My mom just saying Oh No, my dad say what are you talking about. Me asking them to call my brother and sister. I have to get back to the house and start calling everyone, I had 100′s of people to call. I got very good at it, Ikathy's pics 047 would start by asking where are you? Then depending on what they said I would either say pull the car/van over and stop but if they were not driving I would say sit down. Then I would tell them Mikey died last night. I never left a message other than to call the house before you do anything, it’s important. The hardest one to get a hold of was Nettie, she was hosting a football party and didn’t answer the phone. I left her a message saying don’t go on the internet, keep the kids off it too, don’t watch the news until you talk to me. When she finally call back the first thing she said was why can’t I go on the net? I told her and like everyone she was in shock. I got a lot What, what are you saying from most people. Sometime I would just like to skip Sundays, the day most people rest or get ready for their work week but me I find myself just wanted to run away. I don’t of course. I don’t run away from all the work there is still to be done. Mikey’s things still have to be gone through more, the music has to be listened to and then what do we want to do with it, I still have clothes, nick nacks (from his place and those he left here), the journals, books, movies, equipment, and then there are millions of pictures (I took from home and shows). Now this may sound funny but I’m not ready to let go of  or go through some of his stuff. I know I have to but sometime the anxiety gets so high, I’m lucky if I just don’t sit in the corner and flip the TV. Well as the rest of the world is waking up or going to bed depending on what part of the world your in, I should get to work cleaning out the garage so I can once again move things around and find places for all this stuff. As always THANK YOU ALL for the love, support, and well wish. Love Kathy

Posted in Friends and Family, Mikey's Mom | 21 Comments

Me

So this is about me not Mikey but I think it could apply to all of us. Have you ever try to look at where are neurosis, phobias, fixations any term you call the things that we all have that affect what we do come from. I have recently looked at why I’m uncomfortable with things tight around my neck. So this is something no one but the person who did it knows. I was choked to death. When I woke up in the hospital with no permanent damage they seemed surprised and I was very confused at what had happened. As years have gone by and I get older it has become a unconscious decision to not have things tight on my neck. I even wake up if my necklace slips when I’m sleeping. It’s hard to find the start of when things affect us. Now that I know where this one comes from I might try to work on it. I did just get a turtle neck cashmere sweater. I had talked about Mikey and not wearing jewelry and I did find a couple picture with him with a necklace on. I even still have it. As the winter ends and we move into spring try looking at what has caused you to change. Somethings will be good and some will be bad. But maybe just maybe if we find where they started we can decide to change them or live with them. Thanks for the love, support, and always reading. Love Kathy

Posted in Friends and Family, Mikey's Mom | 2 Comments

New Red on Black Crushkill Recordings Shirts!

CrushkillRedonBlackBetter

A very limited second run of Crushkill Recordings shirts!

Crushkill cupid logo in red on the front, Crushkill Recordings cursive font on the right sleeve.

Shirts are printed on black Tultex pre-shrunk shirts (100% ringspun cotton) and will ship with Crushkill stickers while they last.

Grab yours here.

Shirt worn by @MaryOnly photo by @Bhambaphomet.

If you want to submit a picture of you wearing your shirt for inclusion in a photo album on the E&A Facebook page, email it to us and include your location, thanks.

Crushkill on Facebook.

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A little story

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Here’s a little story about a man named Mikey and his dog, mainly about the dog. So as I am watching my brothers dog this week end that way my nephew can compete in a skiing, I was think of when we (Mikey and I) got our dog Sasha. She was just a few weeks old and we bought her out of the newspaper. The family that had her had to move and couldn’t take the dog with.  So I told Mikey he would have a job with the dog and that would be to love and play with her but he would have to go to puppy school with her so they could learn a few commands and be safe when others (animals or people) were around. So we got her in late spring and in the beginning of summer it was puppy school time. Now it was a bit of a drive to the classes but even with the complaining about how we don’t need to take classes Mikey went. He learned the basics, commands for sit, to walk or heel, and then I taught her how to protect the boys and the house. It was funny when she would play with kids, so was so good at knowing if they are big kids or little kids. With the big kids she played rough and with little kids she was very gentle. The boys would do things like have her hang on to a stick and spin her around flying off the ground and she loved it. We would play keep away with her in the middle it was so funny watching her run back and forth but when she would get the ball she would run around us keeping it away from us. With little kids she would let them clime all over her and she didn’t even move. She was a funny puppy when we would leave the house she would chew on the shoes of the last person out the door, then she would jump on the kitchen table which was by two big windows so she could watch to see when we came back. Now we worried about her doing that because if something happened and we went home she could get hurt. We did all kinds of things to keep her off but nothing worked. We put things on the table to cover it thinking if she couldn’t lay on it she would stay off, no she just moved the stuff. We put a little fence around it thinking if she has to jump over it or try to get under it she would stay off the table. No, she got it apart, where ever we had it held together by hook or tie or clip she would get it apart and get on the table. Sometimes as we pulled in the yard we could she her up there and even say in the car get off the table and we could she her jump down. Of course we would just laugh cause she would be up there no matter what we did. Another funny thing was as some of you know we would also call her a goat. Sasha would eat everything, and I mean everything. She ate toys, plastic, rubber, paper, candy, food (people or animals), wood, grass, bugs, flowers, string, cloth, anything she wanted to. The first few times she eat thing we would rush her to the vet and he would say she’s ok. After that we would tell her not to and sometimes she stopped sometimes not. She did as she got older stop eating thing that were ours but she also eat her toys. We would watch her for hours just eating at a toy, picking it apart and throwing some of the piece around the living room, some she ate and we would say don’t do that but she was trying to get to the little thing that made it squeak. Then she would play with that little piece throwing it up in the air, at us so we would throw it back. For those of you who have been at the house seen her crazy behavior, played with her, swung her around the yard all know these thing to be how she was. We had a fire here one night and when of the boys from back in the day was over, he and his girlfriend were hugging and I told my friend watch this I yelled Sasha and he took one step back. We all laughed. Some of you kids from back when we got the dog know why the trash can is a big wooden box, so here’s the reason for the rest of you. Our dog was super smart (in our minds anyway) as I said she would eat anything so we all have trash can of some sort in the house well she would eat it, didn’t matter if the can was in a closed cupboard, one you had to step on to open, one with that swing top,  it didn’t matter if someone standing right next to her she would go for it. I use to say dumb dog but it was still funny. We tried many thing finally my folks found this old potato bind. It’s solid wood and very heavy, you pull up the top and then throw in the trash, well the first time the dog tried to pull up the top it being heavy wood it smacked her in the nose. She back up it was like a old fashion mouse trap, it snapped back. She did it a couple more times couple smacked on the nose and that was that she stop getting in the trash. Funny dog. It was very hard on Mikey when she passed and I never got a chance to tell him that I was proud of how he handled all the decisions when she got sick. I know the last week of her life he spent every min he could with her and I hope they are together now having all the fun they had here. Thanks for reading, sharing, caring and sticking with me. Love Kathy

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She could jump as high as Mikey could reach

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These are not in any order, but she still has her holiday present.

These are not in any order, but she still has her holiday present.

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Sasha and Maxx

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Posted in Friends and Family, Mikey's Mom, News Articles | 3 Comments

Sad day

July 2010

Hey world, I’m posting not for sympathy but as Mikey said in a song ” This song ain’t me it’s just the way I feel at a particular moment” Well the same goes for my posting “It’s just the way I feel at a particular moment”  So today is a bit sadder than usual, I know my day is going to be hard when I wake up crying. Now I’m not sure what the crying is for, missing Mikey, talking to him in a dream, replaying his death, the disappointment in those close to me, my high expectations on people, my parents failing health, or even just the fact that here is another day without Mikey. Nothing extra happened to bring the overwhelming sadness out. Sometime it just comes and that too is how life will be for me.  I know I will have good and bad days like all of us. Each of us has them for different reason and to differing degrees. So I understand that I like all of you are not alone in the feeling of  ’sadness/despair/unhappiness/misery/depression (any word you use for the downside of life)’  that comes. If we did not have the downs we would not be able to know the ups. Many of you would love for me to just pick up the phone and call you but I’m not one to sit on a phone. Besides how would I choose who to call first, do I keep calling people to someone answers, do I bother people at work, how long do you think it would take for people to be  ’feed up/annoyed/irked/pissed (again any word you use)’  and many other questions come into play. Like the fact that I have to call my mom everyday which I never did before Mikey passed, I talk with teens 7 hrs out of the day and listen to a lot, as a kid we had (and I have said this before) a party line and could only be on the phone for 3 mins. my dad would hang up the phone on you if you went over. So I vent here once it’s down or out at least for me it’s mainly done. I say mainly because when we are dealing with emotions things  ’creep/sneak/slip’  back in at different times. Many people miss talking to Mikey and I do too but the things I miss (as I have said) is the way he hugged, that wonderful all encompassing hug, how he called the dog names but did it in a nice voice so she would wag her tail, hearing him sing and play the guitar constantly, cutting the filters off my cigarettes and finding them all over the house (I have found a few in the junk draw lately), going shopping with me (I hate to shop). I would say for most days it’s the little interactions I miss. I am  ’glad/grateful/delighted/thankful’  that the sun is out, it’s about 35 degrees for Jan., and I do say “Thank you sweetie” I like to think that Mikey shows me he is still around with the little he can interact in this  ’world/plane/degree/level’  and it does help having  ’faith/belief/creed/ideology’  in that. But I still just miss him and sometimes the aha moments are enough, today not so much. Well if you made it all the way to the end THANK YOU !!! Tonight is girls card night and I will spend it with good friends, playing cards, talking in person (the way I like) and the wheel will turn once again. Thank you for all the love, support and empathy you show me. Love Kathy

 

Posted in Friends and Family, Mikey's Mom | 13 Comments

So this is Christmas

Well I wasn’t sure what or how to write this. So I thought I’ll just start and see where it goes. This weekend we did our Christmas as I put in a previous post, this year we did Christmas early so that we as a family had less running around to do. As most families there is at least two sides of a family to go to on that busy day. Some families do one side on the eve and then the other on the day. So for the new way of life around here is, we will hold our family gathering for this holiday the weekend before and let everyone do something different on that day. Last year a few friends and I went to the movies and this year I will go by myself. Last year I was surprised at how many people go to the movies. As my family gets older and there will be less of us doing things together, alone is the new normal. One more thing to get use to after Mikey. It would be nice if the new first’s would be like when we were kids and the first things were fun and exciting like walking, talking, eating, dancing, singing, smiling, dating, loving, but now they just are. Each new first I do just remind me what the world has lost, what is and isn’t being done, who else has come and gone, what other first will happen, is the world really changing for the better? So the holiday weekend started on friday with the last annually holiday party. It was a very sad time for my mom. She was very disappointed in those who did not show up but was glad to see those who did. She left early because for her too there are first’s she doesn’t like but the world has changed. I like always, have planned my next year and for this I’m excited and can’t wait it’s not a first it’s a old. On Friday the day winter break starts I’m getting in a car and driving south. I will stop when I get to some place warm by the water. See before Mikey was born I would just leave and stop some where, spend some time and then go some where else. My mom is worried that one of these times I just won’t come back and she is right. We were talking the other day about how when I was a little kid I disliked the cold. I would go ice skating (indoors) but really didn’t like the cold. When we would go skiing I would go cuz you have to do everything for a year to see if you liked it but I always took a book. When every one would go sliding or make snow forts I would sit in the car or on top of the hill and read. But in the spring, summer or fall you couldn’t get me to come inside. I have a few things left to do here. I will probably be here a good year or two before I have things running on there own or at least smother. Then I will just go one day. Call my family when I get to where I’ll be. Now days with cell phones and emails they won’t worry as much as they use to. You know cells weren’t around much until what? the 90′s. I got some great gifts that I wasn’t expecting. I now have a smart tv, which came from Adam and Michelle. I had to figure out how to work it and I do have to say I couldn’t get it to shut off for at least a day. They hind the buttons now days. It’s huge and the first day I kept backing up in the couch cuz it was like to close. We had great food at the party. I made chili, Emma’s dad Mike smoked some turkey, Michelle made chicken curry, Sabrina made spicy turkey meatballs, Liz brought chocolate’s, varies fruits, cheeses, crackers, breads and Rachel made her bacon wraps. Gloria is so funny she said I was here for the first and now the last. That’s what happens with friend from grade school. It was good to have a bunch of teens (the kids who Mikey was just starting to teach the couple years before he passed) on hand, they did make my mom smile and even laugh a bit. I gave away something old of mine and something from Mikey’s childhood. My mom has made a special gift for a few. I’m not putting in here what they are because I’m not sure what I’m going to do with those who didn’t come and my mom wants to mail out a few to those who don’t live here. Gloria said mail them you probably won’t see them for awhile and time goes so fast it will be summer before you see them. She might be right the mail is so convenient and since I’m busy just about everyday this break it might be faster than trying to find a time to meet up. So Sat was busy with old student’s who came back from college and then out dancing with friends. It was nice to see my student’s they stop by when they come home, to hang out, catch up about school and paint the door. I see them more in the summer of course so when I was reminding them I won’t be home next winter break they got that sad look which was funny but not really true. They have lots to do they are just good kids and stop by when they are here. It’s a safe, warm and loving place. People lose time here, fall a sleep here, it’s been home to many far and near. As Mikey said “I hope they will be alright with out a proper guide, to all my loved ones and followers peace out at least I tried” Then as I said Sunday was our family gathering. We ate, played games, hung out with no rush or hurry. Then when I got home a few friends came over to exchange gifts. I get a lot of school picture, from my friend they still have school age kids, which I just adore. I have lots of them up around the house. Today Monday is the day I planned to myself, clean up the house, put things back from the holidays, get back on the emails, internet, update you on what was going on. I should say why I haven’t been on the internet much because I have had a migraine, they can last for weeks and I lose my sight so I stay away from lights, sounds, things that can trigger it again. But now I’m find so can start to answer the things I haven’t in the past couple weeks. Sorry everyone for that. So here are my main medical problems migraines, rheumatoid arthritis, and allergies not bad for 50 something. I did forgot to take pictures at the holidays which I feel yes and no about. The yes is it would of been good to have some of our last time together but the no is I don’t really like taken them yet. I have taken a few at things but it feels strange even throw I took picture from the time I was little. I even still have a couple of my old box cameras. Well I think that’s plenty of info for now. Thanks for reading, supporting, loving, and have a great Holiday. Love Kathy

Posted in Friends and Family, Mikey's Mom, News Articles | 1 Comment